give me my past

give me my past, originally uploaded by Deepa.Praveen.

I wanna to be that child again,
Father,i want my childhood back,
I want u to take me like that,
I want u to walk around the street carrying me like that

And telling the big things to me,
You proved world is too small and
i am big "big enough to face any challenge"
You took me near the elephant ,i was not afraid.
you took me to the mountains ,i was not afraid.
you took me to the temple and i meet the idol face to face.
Together we crossed streets and streams like this,
I was not wet nor sweat.
But you, you were.
I still wanna to be that child dad,
Now i am walking alone
now u are telling only small things like
"miss you my child","be a good wife", "call home once in a while"
Those Short words,means a lot dear
Now i am one among the crowd dear
And the world is too big.
Now i am away from the wild and height
But i am afraid.
I know the "wild and the height" is with in me,
I placed many idols at home
But they are faceless
Now i am here doing nothing
But my cheeks are wet.
Thinking about tomorrow
it is burining inside and i can feel the sweat.
I want my yesterday back dear,
Give me my past.
Give me my journey back

Happy fathers day bit late (u know me, achey)

All about a kiss

A kiss is a garbage,
If given or received with out reason.
If given or received just for the sake of it
Loved to scream and kick
when she kissed me,
I smiled and kissed back as tight as i can
But sickened inside,
Wondering
When i will get a chance to make kiss
as an act of free will,when?
then whom will i kiss?
But my eyes projected my puzzled queries.
Shut it,so tight as i can,
sealed it with a tear drop.
Dark ,dark am i in a tunnel?
Is kiss an act of showing dominance?
Yes said the gold ornaments they,
Were trying to escape into by breast,
The kiss made me elastic,
Soul trying to escape to one end.
Body as some else prisoner.
Never again i will put myself into this garbage bag
Never again ,
Now let me take my lips back from yours.

(few years back a lady relative gave me a kiss, don't rise ur eye brows it was not a lesbian act );- but it spoiled my colourful dreams about A Kiss.

Following you

Following you, originally uploaded by Deepa.Praveen.

You were walking straight
with out looking at those fallen leaves ,
Autum seems neglected,
So as me.
Dreams had gone to bring back
the unrealized hope
It seems you were chasing them
So as me.
Wind whispers scantly
wiped the drop of water
from my eye lids
Green grass tiered with chill
looked like encountering with an old sin
I was looking down
Then felt the heart beats of some one
above my heart
We walked straight
Without looking at those fallen leave
Because we have a life ahead
To fight and find our soul
To hope and dream..
And love and love again..
Let the winter leaves fall behind us
Let the seasons set behind us
Lets walk to our dreams

sketches/english: I am blessed

sketches/english: I am blessed

She tells her love

She tells her love, originally uploaded by Deepa.Praveen.

It is easy to strat
But diificult to begin

I am blessed

I am blessed, originally uploaded by Deepa.Praveen.

I was blessed because my eyes were open
I was blessed because i was a part of time
I am blessed for the moment i faced you
I am not here for you nor for me.

We are part of the nature which gives miracles like this.
And i am blessed

Leaf of hope..

Forlone?

With the passing of time we (some of us)try to create a space for ourselves and try to put us into it.Time moves.with that inevitable phenomenon always accompanied with it,I,e “change”.Then we feel that we are misfit to that aura we created for ourselves..
Then began to ask who am i? what am I? why I am here?Or Is life simply a particle in time?Itz an inner necessity to address this question. In our somber or even in uninhibited moments we are haunted by the same question in different ways and shapes but sometimes we failed to realize that it is this inner question which thrives us.
If u ask me who are u
Wel I don’t know how to answer it..i don’t know much about maha vakyas or brahmavidhya concept rather than saying searching for swam(All my profilez used to strats with it)more than thousand momentz back some one asked me who are you? I answered
“I am an extension of my mother and beginning of my kid, an aura for his realization of self.and through him I will lose my “I”and wil be self”
Still adhere to that same old primitive answer…
Cant help I am an old-fashioned one…

To be or not be...

To be or not be...
Originally uploaded by itzme.....

Our life path may be diverged near a lonely tree...in a moon light night
Here someone with a melting soul....(may be not sure)
Here what was he dreaming about? May be about an eternal womb where he can remain again as child for countless hours..
Or he may be dreaming about getting out from reality and flying away from this whirling world....
may be waiting for a metaphorical miracle...
One thing is sure he was not himself when he was der..
Me the silent spectator free zed the moment in my cam.. crossed him with out looking back…after few moments ..i heard the foot steps behind me..
it was in a rythm..rythm of life..life with a new vision..
Thankz brother for giving this moment...thanking u...
A loving Sis.

Hanged

Hanged
Originally uploaded by itzme.....

My little adventure with vegetables.
Kerala(the state I belonged to(?) “was” an agrarian economy.But now we are waiting for the mercy of our neighbouring states for daily food grains and vegetables.

WE HANGED OUR AGRARIAN SECTOR…
LONG LIVE DEVELOPMENT

Sand says live in blur

 

Sand says
Live in a blur


This snap is not taken by me..itz frm a friend of mine..happnd to cm to my possession.

So I inherited it,blur the image and made it my desktop item.This is seemingly an insignificant event. I regularly change my desktop picture with new interesting ones .So my friends and colleagues are interested to check my desktop often for good snapz(floks don’t rise ur eye brows, no intention of copy right violation if the author is known to me..i used to give a pretty good introduction about the person).

But about this snap it remained there for a quite long time.

Shared many hours unknowingly with this.For the past few weeks I was "busy" with nothing much to do…yes rather than correcting ,recorrecting ,drafting and redrafting certain documents..nothing worth…than playing with words..it made my days monotonZ..life flowing like a river



Then, few days back @ my work place I ve gone through some static or immobile moments..yeah the very same day we ve had the rain after a long time..

When it was raining outside I was blocked….I was blocked with a strange feeling...that life is not worth living”


Then my phone rang..i m using a GPRS connection so I placed my mobile near to my PC…I had a glance at my destop. Towards this blur image..it was my intimate friend Resna at the other end..after a long time ..
she asked me how you..


For the first time I had a negative answer “Life in Blur”
T

hen line got disconnected as usual…
Me..Turned towards my desktop. This time I felt..
that golden image gt faded


It had a questioning glance towards me..
why u say so?


Why I said so ?
I was not ecstatic nor depressed?
I was not into any sort of confusions? I am running a safe voyage.is it my problem?
Or am I residing outside my present state of mind
Am I In a rhetorical state? no way


Then the picture makes its command “move urself”


Yes the sand started saying this

A All human beings are slaves of different times..present and future..

You are not an exception I felt you are
You disappointed me…salve of unwanted thoughts..

Hey look at me…life is like me…

Don’t search for a leading edge here…u cant find edges in life…

Don’t try to explore or discover ur existent ional truth here, itz beyond u

Don’t u rember the game with the safety pin?

(During my child hood days I used to play a game with safety pin along with my friends …One will hide a pin in the sand and others will search for the same when u approach’s the place where the pin is in, then the other one will say “itz hot”..itz the signal.)

U R playing the same sand game with him” the one who knows every thing”

Here he hides "the truth","fortune" some where behind this small particles…
And that "truth or fortune" is really hot.
At some point of time u may cross it..knowningly or unknowingly….U are not in a world of turmoil itz the one u created….world is peacefully lies here as calm as this sand..as pure and profound…don’t try to build a palace with this sand alone, u cant…Don’t try to measure the dimension of my particles. I am beyond ur mathematical equations,Walk elegantly through this…and returned to me one day and be another particle.
""

I closed my eyes.
Dreaming???am i dreaming
Dont know..I opened my eyes..
The magic sand was there with a special glow.
I tried to remove it from my desktop .With in a fraction of second…replaced it with a deep blue occean. .
Then I heard a laughter …it said -what is in that bottom of the occean.. itzme-
i replaced deep blue sea with a home…then also the same sound..
-itzme ..there too..-
yes I cant find an image with out the magic sand..
in virtual or in real..
so I placed this blur image again as my desktop item…



(words mixed with bit illusion, bit fantasy, bit imagination and a pinch F truth…)

mam..and mia

mam..and mia
Originally uploaded by Deepa.....

Plz ve a look @ that moms eyes...

Dedication for global market

.

This one may be receiving only few bucks frm his job..
But here he has to hide his livelihood frm the sun..or is it from the world itself???
oh yes we belongs to a global world..we speak about global market
We are concerned about TRIPS and GATT..
But here in this street life exists
few coins this one receives also forms part of worlds economic contribution...

I love to....

I LOVE TO FEEL THE RAIN INSIDE ME WHEN ITZ RAINING OUTSIDE….
I LOVE TO SMILE WHEN I LOST MYSELF COMPLETELY IN MY DREAMS
I LOVE TO HMM THAT WORDLESS POEM WHEN I BECOME A POETRY...
I LOVE TO REMAIN SILENT WHEN MY FRIENDS R TALKING ABOUT THEMSELVES….
BCOZ I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY ABOUT ME…
I LOVE TO DRAW MY FACE WITH WATER WHEN I MEET THOSE FACELESS FACES
I LOVE TO READ MY FVRT LINES AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN WHEN TIME COMPLES ME
I LOVE TO PLAY THE SYPHONY WHEN THOSE INNOCENT SHADOWS DANCE AROUND ME
I LOVE TO SAIL THROGH DREAMS WHEN REALITES FLOWS AGAINST ME
I LOVE TO BE THE DROP OF HOPE WHEN A TEAR FALLS FROM UR CHEEK
I LOVE TO PRAY WHEN I HAVE NO SPECIFIC REASON TO PRAY…
I LOVE TO FEEL MY TEARS…WHEN I FAIL TO FEEL U…MY PAIN…

Dogma

Dogma

Today
She a waif an unwanted child
He..her sibling
Staring with glazed and sorrowful eyes
Facing the factitious world
And together they are alone…

Today
He…the Mac
She…the mater
May not be both the ends of same navel string
But now she is the mater and he the Mac
Two restless broken souls
Abandoned by the existence…
On their trance to the halter wating for them


Tomorrow
He may be the first lecher lacerate her lap or lee
When the vail of innocence once lifted
And the taste of tent once felt

Afterwards
Who is going to hear her wail?
Neither you nor me
Never her obdurate destiny.
Then why should she alive?
Kid grow up to her shoulder
Be the matricide
It’s better than be the neuter
Who sells moms flesh for bread.

Aami

My note for you
This snap was taken by a friend of mine,once he send the snap along with a note about his personal experience...the snap taken from kottayam thattu village,kannur.
A village still flowing with have not"s.A place where 3 time meal is a dream,where the girl kids losts thier innocence even before maturity.Boys tastes the forbidden fruit along with arrack in the dawn of teen.What more to say...i felt the agony,pain and frustration in my friends words...yes a heart was wounded by the very sight of this kids.His words along with the picture made me write this..i may be aggrasive in my words but truly i mean it...

Thankful to
http://freebird.in/images/transparent.jpg

for more heartfelt shots pls visit
http://freebird.in

companion

when i saw u on the first day ...

i dont know who u are....

second day...

U were a stranger...

The third dayU look into my eyes..

and whisphered "friend"...

The fourth day...

I found ur voice...

inside a sea shell...

Fifth day...

I listen to the voice

heard the sound of occean

i throw the sea shell

sixth day...The day of trail...

u stood there...clam,quite

Yes u were smiling..

seventhday...

day of execution..

I hanged u...

In my heart..

Now there is no "u" and" me"

Bcoz i buried u inside me..

Now i am u..

And we are companions...

"love"..i love u

Love..i love u…

They asked me
why I am not in love….
They told me
You can write well
If you are in love…
But dears…
I love “love”
I am the slave of love
It’s the fire in me…
It burns me but I am not destroyed…
How should I make them feel that
Love purifies me…
Its my lamp and light..
My ecstasy..
My heaven and earth…
My life…

10.2.07

The snap is provided by my friend
His orkut id
http://www.orkut.com/Profile.aspx?uid=18241860953858375090