A day like any other day.
When we talk about women or women issues,many say you are a feminist. Many think,you are creating mess against men.
But in reality, it is not the same. It is not for creating an outmoded air. It is not for projecting or creating gender difference .
I am talking about myself. What my eyes and ears experienced.
It is about sharing those same stains of discouragement and exclusion, i got when my friends cried with out voice in front of me.It is the pain they shared with me when they are enforced to disappare form the place or state they wished to be in.
I sensed them just as "friends" co-beings, not as" men "or "women" . Not as "boy" or "girl".
When i hugged them,my soul and body aroused,It was not sexually or sensually ,but from the heat of their agony and confusions.
The fire,some times were so scary. I wished to keep myself away from the flames,it reminds me of that old story of Bhasmasura in Shiva purana. I don't have the courage to face the realities as they projected , i don't have the strength to be with them as the great mother Veturia does in old times.
But i want to talk about it. I want to communicate the frustrations suffered by a group of people, who is living in the face of earth with the wounds of discrimination,humiliation,misunderstanding and injustice. They are human beings .Just human beings.
Mustache,penis or wombs makes any difference,they are wounded at HEART all over the universe,from the attitude of others.
Others means not one Pinoche, Videala, Pol Pot or Saddam Hussein. It includes many more. Inclusive of you and me. Culprits and victims are same, only the degree of pain and pleasure varies,from person to person.
So it is about the people who wished to live all their days with fragility and integrity. It is about the girl sitting next to you in a bus station in a green scarf,about the boy who is searching for a new ipode tune in the supermarket along with you,about the girl in your friends list with a lonely profile picture in orkut ,face book or my space,or your team mate who used to laugh and mimic others during lunch break, about the man in next cubicle about whom ,you feel very successful(?), personally and professional.They may not be in physical poverty but they are into emotional poverty.It is about their emotional crisis, the one worse than the economic crisis.
Have you ever thought about the silent times in others life? It exist.
"Enlightening misery",they may say to themselves, but they are car ring that baggage's like you and me.The treasures we had in it,stones of accusation,stones of oppression, stones of misunderstanding . We throw this against each other. There is no one there to say "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone". We stay with it,offended outraged,dared to speak about it in public. Most often with out even understanding it.
They feel they are drenched in pain, but cant differentiate the reasons from many surrounds them. Pain of eclipse,some realise it as identity crisis, for some it is just depression.
But what ever may be the name we gave, in the back ground of the smiling eyes, there is a black layer of pain.
No new facial can remove this, only a co-being who can "understand" you as what you are can bring the smile back to the eyes with out that dark frame.
I am glad,i had and have a couple off them and i am able to add one or two to the Galaxy.
I meet few people with those eyes with dark frames. I don't know whether i am able to lighten the dark frames surrounds there vision,but it reduced mine.
I shared my passion with them,one way of expressing my vision,through the moments i captured through Len's. I may be the "worst photographer" for the " photographic talents." But when i shared my part of world with some dark circled eye people. I saw an extra glare in those eyes. They call it a photo exhibition.They call it an online photo sharing But for those once who touched my photographs it was not. The one lady whom i dont know and probably i wont meet ever in my life, downloaded it a photograph of mine into her desktop after asking permission from me in persia recived a zip file of my photography wrote to me today, a one line mail. It said, dear it is you saw what i want to see. When i read it i felt the presence of a gurdian angel between two stranges me and her.
The one who selected my photographs for her website said you have different "vision" about " things". I don't know how different they were, my low quality, technically damaged,nonsense captures.
As he say " they are communicating, in a way. And that is important.". As some said earlier "i saw a beautiful parrot and a dirty cage and the dirty cage disturbs my sleep."
Yes i got few dirty cages and got inhabitants from them,that may be the reason i am able to collect few coins from the exhibition and it is going for a good cause.
I am sure it will enlighten the vision of few.
International women's day how i am going to remember the day again. The date of my first solo photo exhibition or the day i meet some wonderful people, or the day i am able to lightened the burning sensations from at least a couple of peoples heart, or making some one sit in that dark cold,chill,air for hours waiting for his girl to be back, holding her hands and leading her back to home.
It was night and a violent evening so when the boys and girls at street shouting against each other ,carrying beer cans ,both of us felt in secured and it was not a feminist issue. When one of them shouted towards a brother from Pakistani as"you "f..."people are cause of 9/11 attack i felt a pain in my heart and it was not a feminist issue,when a girl crossing her teens walked towards me and begged for few coins from a dark corner of the street i felt a vacuum and it is not a feminist feeling. When kichu, my friend, said she may be back to her medication for winter depression", luke worried," it is march and still the winter is playing its part,what can we do other than suffering the effects global warming like this." We nodded and it was not feminist one.
Concerns are human,issues are human.for i and you are suffering were human issues. Human cries.
"WE ARE BURNT ,I HOPE THERE WONT BE AN ARROW FOR INFLICTING AN EXTRA PAIN TO OUR WOUNDED SOULS."