Tuesday, 5 January 2010

4 Boys and a new year eve.

New year eve.

I popped into one of my social networking sites .
I saw this.
"Call one of your old friend and say Hello."
Yes i didn't call any one nor send any new year greetings yet and it is the new year eve.
Do i need to  make a call to those far ends?
Lay on the bed, for a while thinking about that one line...
"Call your friend and say hello."

Yes i decided to call three friends.

First person- I am going to talk to that person for the first time, never meet face to face, in my life. The boy who entered  into my book in 2009.

Second one- The one i never meet, but that would be the one whom i am going to give a  hug instead of a firm handshake in the very first meeting.( Think so)

Third one- My first best friend, my first true friend who happened to be a boy,the boy who taught me, a girl and boy can be best friends, with out  the feeling that they belongs to different sex. The boy with whom i spend my long uni days. 8 years of my life and he was there as a friend.

Three boys. Three friends.
Why i selected them?

There are/were names in thousands. But why three?

Asked myself. And it leads to another question.

Why we communicate with others?
Is it just for the sake of communication?
No. For me not.
People say I am not calling them.
True because,don"t felt so.
I believe if you call someone,that conversation should uplift both those friends to another world of their own. Both should forget each others existence when they talk. They should cry while laughing, with out knowing they are crying. The laughter should be louder. They should talk in excitement. They should talk together without waiting for the other one to stop. There should be the sounds mixing together it can be the recollection of memories, it should be teasing one another.  It is obvious, they are not hearing those words by the other one. But they understood each other very well. Each word. Each sound,it has its own meaning. Only they can code and decodeit. Because that is the language of friendship. The language developed between two friends and solely belongs to them.
I believed in that language so i pick the phone and gave them a ring.
Vinay: A small brother. I got him from one of the social networking websites and together we migrated from one network to another. He gave some good laughs during those 365 days. He choose my side in several online battles. And that is not the one reason, I gave him that call, when he calls me "ammichechi" i felt somewhere inside my mind an elder sister melts. Another reason is i was missing my little brother vinukuttan(xavior vinod). And i look to you vinay and said vinukuttan will call me soon.

Vinay another vinay: How to introduce vinay? A man who is deadly positive. A back packer. Traveller,Biker, Hardcore patriot?How to introduce u paapz?
Pappan. Subfamilies in  kerala address their  elder most cousin as Pappan. It is a way to show your respect to them. Respect coupled with your love and affection. Vinay has lot of little cousins who are after him always shouting " pappan", for the little ones he is somewhat like a hero. Dont know when i started calling him by that name, but truly when i talk to him, I always feel i am talking to one of my elder cousins, towards him i do have a hero worship (which i never admit). The one who do all the things you wanna to do sometime in your life. The one who gave a Cristal clear picture to your own dreams by sharing his experience in life.When i talk to pappan i chase my own dreams. Yes it is like the bond between Rishi and Jayakrishanan in Thuvanathumpikal( a south Indian film).

 We call once or twice a year. We cant recognise each others voice from that first HELLO. There will be few hellos. Couple of silent seconds. Then one will start laughing, other joins and there will be that laughter,the primitive unconscious vocalisation. We never exchange those regular questions, how are you? how are you doing? what is the new news? Any new projects? no blah no blah. We reciprocate with each other with the feeling that last time we talked to each other was the day before. And when we end that call we are not sure whether we will call each other again.But we are filled with that filling. Positive energy of friendship recharged us for another time span. And that is it.

Pratheesh: Decade back some one asked me who is your best friend.
Answered. Pratheesh.

He replied" Oh it is a boy,is he your boy friend?
Answered. "No he is my best friend. Who happened to be a boy"
Few days back some one asked me. "Are you missing your home here,or your best friend"
I said yes.
He asked me again" who is your best friend? Your partner?"
I said "No. It is someone else and  it is Pratheesh"
He is the first one i meet during my law college days. We were together for 7 college years and one year out after that. He is the one who taught me how two people can be good friends with out considering the gender difference, with out falling in love with each other. He listened to me when i shared my dreams about my life with the person with whom i shared a relationship at that time. He consoles me during those tough times. During the break-ups he stood with me and said you will be alright. We never call each other unless there is some emergencies like college strike or to know the exam dates, or just to know the release date of some new movies.
He never said you are like a sister for me. I am a friend for him.

I used that weapon "brother", when i need one more ice- cream or coffee after the two glass. I plead like" I don't have a brother da, that is why i am asking you". And most often he spend those last few coins in his pocket for that extra cup of coffee accompanied by all the swearing words in his dictionary.

We studied together with same lecture notes and books. And together we wrote 14 semester exams and after few exams we found a funny factor our mark difference will be less than 10 always. Sometimes he score high. Sometimes itz me.

Our college followed a very conservative system at that time. If you talk to a guy both of you will get the most difficult assignments of that time. And during that era in that set-up we staged our first couple dance together for a funny song.
And our seniors were so serious and always into books and moot court competitions. And the lunch breaks were filled with assignment writings and test paper preparations. But it was out of our reach, so we started playing card games, cricket ,foot ball, very rude form of rugby  indoor. Our serious super seniors joined us, it was very easy for us to transform our little college as a primary school.
We saw movies together, we had lunch together, we hugged each other when we passed out, when we enrolled ,when he got his LLm entrance( literally i dragged him to the interview room, he was not confident enough in his decision to took a masters degree, so it was hard for me to pursue him. But now i am so happy watching him flying from one end of the country to another as a successful legal practitioner).
Whenever i hold his hands i never felt i am touching someone belongs to opposite sex. Felt the presence and warmth of a friend.
In fact he is my school a school for a friendship. A school to outer world . Good friendship.
That experience taught me, two people can be good friends,even though they belongs to opposite sex.

So i decided to call them because they occupy a special place in my life.

YEs my phone is ringing. A call for  me. A voice concerned about me. My "Man."
From the state of that responsible friend i am falling into the state of mind of that  spoiled brat. The naughtiest,irresponsible wife.
Same lame excuses for not having food, not going out,not doing anything worth that day.
Taking a day off for nothing. I know he don't like it. Don't like it at all. But i am doing it.
Because those days when i sit alone i realise my near and dear friend is him. My man.
Who value all my friendships.
Who believe in me and my "self"
Who trust me.
Who helps me to keep my friendships as what they were.
And with whom i can share anything and everything.
So i made those three calls to my 3 friends.
And received a call back from my near and dear friend. And my day was worth. Welcome 2010


Liju James said...

wonderful writing deepa...! you are blessed to have people in your life who manifest the real defenition of friendship...after reading this, i was thinking about a moment when a conversation with you long ago made me happy, gave me joy, in a lonesome time..you may not remember, because we had not been in touch continuosly or for a long time...anyways, i am happy that i got to meet you, not though in person, at some point of my life...take care. God bless you..

Itzme said...

Thanks a lot liju. I am also grateful for thee to have your presence in my life. Eventhough we talk to each other on very rare occasions. But every tiny word we exchanged gave a new dimension to the word friend. And how can i forgot ur calls from somewhere in those deep blue sea. And those conversations which i keep in my mind as a sweet memories. I am grateful to u Pal for remaining as a friend of lifetime.


pinkapplecore said...

I try to call my friends but there never answer, hahaha well they do sometimes but not often enough.

^, ^

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